The National Healthy Marriage Institute


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Self-Help Programs For Separated Couples

Real life marriages are a roller coaster of highs and lows and right now you are experiencing the low. The joy and happiness that once filled your marriage has been replaced by pain and misery. Our goal is to help you reverse this trend and achieve your initial dream of a happy, healthy lifelong marriage.

At this point in time you may feel like this is impossible but for many couples it is still possible to pull out of the downward spiral they find their marital relationships in. In fact, according to a report published in the Journal of Marriage and the Family, "approximately five million couples, or 10% of all currently married couples in the United States, have experienced a separation and reconciliation in their marriage".  Another study found that 77% of couples who initially were very unhappy in their marriage, rated themselves 5 years later as very happy in their marriage.

In a minority of cases a divorce is in the best interest of all involved. But that's in the minority of cases and we hope your case is in the majority.

The one thing that needs to change is the unhealthy status of your marital relationship. We want to help you make that happen.

Right now you are going through some very dangerous relationship rapids, and we highly recommend that you hire a guide to help navigate you through these rapids. Finding the right marital therapist for you and your spouse is going to take some time and effort on your part.

We highly recommend that you ask potential therapists the following five questions suggested by Bill Doherty in a presentation at the 1999 Smartmarriages conference:

1. "Can you describe your background or training in marital therapy?" If the therapist is self-taught or workshop-trained, and can't point to formal supervised training in this work, then consider going elsewhere.

2. "What is your attitude toward salvaging a troubled marriage versus helping couples break up?" If the therapist says he or she is "neutral," or "I don't try to save marriage, I try to help people," look elsewhere.

3. "What is your approach when one partner is seriously considering ending the marriage and the other wants to save it?" If the therapist responds by focusing only on helping each person clarify their personal feelings and decisions, consider looking elsewhere.

4. "What percentage of your practice is marital therapy?" Avoid therapists who do mostly individual therapy.

5. "Of the couples you treat, what percentage would you say work out enough of their problems to stay married with a reasonable amount of satisfaction?

In addition we recommend that you also ask the following six questions:

1. How much do you charge per session and do you accept insurance?

2. On average how many sessions do you have with a couple?

3. How do you view your role as a therapist in a session?

4. What are your expectations of us as clients?

5. What are your goals as a therapist when you are working with clients?

6. Briefly describe what we can expect to get out of therapy sessions with you.

Once you are on your road to recovery we recommend you take some of the marriage education courses to gain additional relationship skills and knowledge that will help you continue to sustain a healthy marriage. We also recommend you continue taking refresher courses throughout the rest of your life in order to decrease the chances that you will ever find yourself in this position again.

We highly recommend you become an informed consumer before you purchase or use one of these self-help programs. Possible questions you might ask include:

1. What is your experience and training that you used to develop this program?

2. Is this program based on research and can you supply me with the references for the research articles it is based on?

3. What is the total cost for using your program?

4. What are the specific relationship skills and knowledge taught in this program?

If you have a self-help program for couples who are separated and would like it to be added to this list please send us an email.

The following self-help programs can help couples who are separated acquire the relationship skills and knowledge to form and maintain a healthy marriage.  



Contact Information

Healthy Marriage Weight Loss Program This online program has been designed to help people attain and maintain a healthy weight, healthy marriage and a healthy self. Click here to learn more about this program
Healthy Relationship Dating Program Over 200 ideas of fun dates you can go on and strengthen your relationship at the same time. Click here to visit the Healthy Dating Program

No cost.
Keys to Unlocking the Door to a Healthy and Happy Marriage This pamphlet series teaches basic relationship skills and knowledge that can help a couple form and sustain a healthy marriage. Click here to read and print the pamphlets

No cost.
Getting Unstuck Video Workshop Working with real couples, Michele Weiner-Davis teaches four down-to-earth relationship skills illustrates a series of exercises couples can perform at home to begin to effect relationship change right away. You ll learn to stop pushing your partner s buttons in negative ways and to start pushing them in positive ways&to get better at setting positive, action-oriented, attainable goals&and to think more creatively about change.   To order this video for $49.95 call 866-818-5530
The Couples Workshop Series In this DVD, designed to fit your busy lives, learn how you and your partner can better cope with life''s stresses and support one another. With guided instruction and a series of practical exercises, you''ll enjoy sharing this workshop with each other. Learn how to renew intimacy, enhance respect, and strengthen your love, commitment and friendship. Gain lasting tools to communicate and resolve conflicts with calm and care. This user-friendly DVD workshop includes 4 DVDs and a manual, complete with workshop exercises. All materials and presentations are based on John Gottman''s 30 years of research with couples. To order this DVD or VHS workshop for $200 call 866-818-5530
Saying "I Do": Consider the Possibilities This free online marriage education program has been designed by researchers at Utah State University to help you learn the skills and knowledge that can help you form and sustain a healthy marriage.  To enroll in this free online course click here and you will be redirected to their login page. 

Type in the ID:marriageprep
and your Password is: guest
10 Great Dates Video Series 10 Great Dates Video Series helps spark romance with memory-making evenings built on key, marriage-enriching themes. Enjoy your dates alone as a couple or use this resource to initiate an ongoing marriage enrichment program for your church or group. To order this video series for $99.95 call 866-818-5530
His Needs Her Needs: Habits for a Lifetime of Passion In this 12 lesson course Dr. Harley leads you step by step through the process of becoming irresistible to each other. The package includes: Six compact disks recorded by Dr. Harley, one copy of His Needs, Her Needs (Hardcover), Lesson Assignments manual, and his 5 Steps to Romantic Love workbook. To order this 12 lesson course for $130 call 866-818-5530
Relationships Video Curriculum   Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot teach couples how to have a successful relationship by living principles taught in the Bible. To order this video workshop for $99.95 call 866-818-5530
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work In this video Dr. Gottman presents his research-based seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Based on Dr. Gottman''s New York Times best selling book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. To order this video workshop for $29.95 call 866-818-5530
The Second Half of Marriage Video Series Most marriage courses focus on newlyweds. This ground-breaking video curriculum is designed to help the aging boomers/empty nesters reinvent their marriage.In it Dave and Claudia Arp reveal the eight challenges of the empty nest years and with wit and wisdom offer strategies for meeting each challenge. Kit includes 2 one-hour videos, 1 Participant s Guide and 1 Leader s Guide. To order this Video Series for $89.95 call 866-818-5530
Love Busters: Overcoming Habits That Destroy Passion. In this 12 lesson course, Dr. Harley helps you get what you need from your spouse and give what your spouse needs from you. It begins by eliminating Love Busters.

Audio Package: Six compact disks recorded by Dr. Harley,
one copy of Love Busters (Hardcover), Lesson Assignments manual, and the workbook, 5 Steps to Romantic Love.
To order this 12 lesson course for $130 call 866-818-5530
The Marriage Breakthrough® Interactive Seminar  This package contains two DVDs which capture the full content of Michele Weiner-Davis's day-long live marriage enrichment/divorce prevention seminar for couples and a 12 page booklet containing seminar outline and exercises that you and your spouse can complete to fully participate in the seminar. To order this interactive DVD seminar for $149.95 call 866-818-5530
Fighting for Your Marriage Video Workshop This video guided workshop for couples helps you learn and apply the PREP skills and principles to help your relationship stay healthy.

Couples Workbook Video One: Ground Rules for Fighting and Loving

Couples Workbook Video Two: Using the Speaker-Listener Technique to Manage Conflicts

Couples Workbook Video Three: Problem Solving Made Easy

In addition to the three videos this package also includes to participants workbooks.
To order this workshop series for $130 call 866-818-5530
DNA of Relationships DVD Series with Gary and Michael Smalley Watching this new 6 hour DVD seminar you'll learn:
How to eliminate the number one cause of relational conflict
1.Four ways to create a safe place for love
2.Four ways you can control all of your own emotions and greatly lower your stress level
3.Three key choices that bring you complete happiness in life 4. The most powerful communication method on earth 5. How God has designed you for love
6. Why the people using these principles found a 73% increase in their relational satisfaction
To order this DVD seminar for $99.95 call 866-818-5530

Wisdom Series
 This 6 CD audio workshop is taught by Lori Gordon, the founder of the PAIRS program. In it she teaches the skills and knowledge that have helped thousands of couples who have gone through the PAIRS program build and sustain healthy marriages. To order this CD workshop for $79.95 call 866-818-5530
Romance on a Shoestring Game Romance on a Shoestring begins as a game you play once a week, but it can last
a lifetime.

A shelf of self-help books, psychological wisdom and 120 romantic ideas--all
wrapped up in a fun and playful game.
To order this game for $49.95 call 866-818-5530
Sex & Romance in the Biblical Marriage This 6 hour video workshop, taught by Jim Sheridan, covers basic skills and information about sex and romance from a biblical perspective To order this video workshop for $150 call 866-818-5530

Specific Disclaimer

The National Healthy Marriage Institute (NHMI) does not examine, determine or warrant the competence of any of the products or services listed in this website. Use of this website to locate products and services is completely voluntary and will not result in any liability against the NHMI. In no event shall the NHMI be liable for damages to any user of the website for the voluntary selection of any of the products and services listed in the website, for the services provided by any service provider listed herein, or for any other damages which may occur. The NHMI cannot and does not provide any warranties related to the information contained in or resulting services from the products and services that are linked to from this website.